Monday, January 17
hello ! alyph here . now i'm at my mummy's shop at kamponq melayu as always . hmms, so freakinq bored so i decided to update myy bloqq . hahs . PLUS ! check out the new sonqs fer my bloq - they're all fuckinq nice (: few thinqs happen while i'm qone but i faced them with myy all and not let them qet me down ~ PEACE :D
ferst off , in my Kude Kepanq qroup , Seri Gembara , i was told by sumbody that i wouldn't be able to "mabok" when ader kluaran at Kamponq Melayu in Feb i think . rabaq ehk ~ ther was a traininq that i didn't attend bcos i went to Nqee Ann Open House on th third day . i fiqured myy future would be better than qoinq fer th traininq . so i quess i wouldn't qo fer th traininq anymore since i'd be qiven not to do anythinq . the way th mcq was pass to me seems lyke i'm an outsider lyke that . wth kn ? nebmyne . i don't mind any of it . this ish just a small matter and it won't keep me down (:
i can "mabok anytyme i want whenever i want to . so boo yeah ! ~
next ! these few days had a small fiqht with Ririehy Dollie, i admit aqh ~ it's mostly bcos of jealousy , PLUS ! it has always been myy fault (: i wouldn't want to explain it further but i heard that she was sort of with this quy , a Sinmiedo member and also heard that she would willinqly let hym qo fer another qerl to be happy . so i tot , "okay, sumtinq qoinq on wit her and hym ." i really don't want to be in a r/s wher th qerl are in a sort of love r/s even if they're aren't boyf/qerlf . i just don't want sumtinq lyke that to occur bcos of me bcos it miqht happen to me in future (:
Ririehy fb mcq me bout me tokinq to alot of qerls and all . she even asked me whether qerek or not . i simply answered th qerls i tok to mostly already are in a r/s , they love their boyf ( some of them i know ) and sayinq that as if she haven't been doinq th same . she apoloqize to me . i know she ish beinq sincere with th apoloqy but i don't why all that had happen to me in love just chanqe me till i'm always feelinq th need of beinq sarcastic to her . but it's true thouqh , i'm always th one at fault , aren't i ? *left hanging*
shattered`* 13:23
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Friday, January 7
heys peeps ! hmms, picture above was what i made when i nqah majok nqan Ririehy Dollie, i dont remember why or when, thouqh . hahs . i know i was bored durinq tat tyme and i wanted to do sumtinq that could express what i feel . so this ish it . in th picture, im smilinq but ther ish a tear and a broken-heart . so what it eceli means ish that i will try to be act naturally happy eventhouqh im hurt inside, and im only tryinq but i cant hold back tears that are fallinq . so here it ish . smart rite ? haha ! but now im okay . so yea . P E A C E :D
next ! on 06Jan2011, jmpe Ririehy Dollie at ToaPayoh around 11am-12pm . Kiyuut luqh seyy ornq nyer . haha ! :D at th same tyme jmpe her kakak tiri and her boify (criuzly muke familiar siot - thats whye startinq lyke senyap skejap, haha !) . jalan'jalan den pelan'pelan qet to know each other lebih dalam as we walk and walk and walk . ferst stop was dekat library, ader "ornq tuqh" kn carik buku yanq ader *censored* (sendiri mau fikir), sunqquh'sunqquh plaq tuqh dye bace . haha ! KECOH ! den i was bored rabaq, dudoq pat luar library, start luqhs mepek - kacao ornq sumerq, makcik pakai tudonq pon kene kacao . hahas ! after that, kte nqah lpaq pat "sumwhere", tibe'tibe ader satu bdq skolah nieq walk in front of us, dye TERKEJOT mcm nmpq hantu . hahaha ! muke dye criuzly tqleyy anqkat siot . beyy kte ktawekn dye uqhs . hahaha ! xD paiseyy sak bdq tuqh . lpas tuqh jalan'jalan laqyk, tok summore . it was fun althouqh it was short . eceli planned to lpaq at yishun, den she say she qoin off already . this part i always hate but what to do rite ? hahs . so that was how it ended .
& Ririehy, you still owe me, hmms, 6 bites ! NO ! plus one more . remember at mrt, you bite at wher ? notty'notty ehk :P
now, im startinq to feel lyke shit aqain . i just cant stop uqhs . i keep thinkinq and thinkinq without any reason about love . after what happen last tyme, i think miqht wanna be careful, yea ? especially when im contactinq with sumbody lyke her - who have alot of other quys waitinq fer her . she say im th one she'll choose amonq th rest, i believe her but i cant help to think that one day, she would just chanqe her mind and say qudbye . its not i dont trust but im just scared . hahs . " believe or not, a quy sayinq he's scared of love " hahas . but this ish criuz uqhs . but love, dont worrie, i'll always qive my all to you :D so no more emo yea ? but qambar mcm senqaje jeq . kay stop it sak alyph - aqu tawu kaw jelez . nyahaha ! xD
now dah start mepek bcos dah nqantok so adios fer now .
R A W K S T A R :DLabels: 1st meet, Ririehy Dollie
shattered`* 13:47
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Saturday, January 1
hey peeps ! just now, qo qhost-huntinq wit few people . it was fun cos ad special qadqet and all . while explorinq th house, ader bende tuqh tap my shoulder pdehal i was th last person sia at th back . turn around tqde pape . hahas ! ornq ckp klao bertemu nqan bende tuqh, nnti jatoh saket . harap'harap 2moro tq demam sdah cos ade traininq seyy (:
i realize my mystake bout what i said and did . and admitted it all . dah ask fer forqiveness and also been forqiven ~ i think . everythinq dah okays uqhs . but just as i tot everythinq could qo back to what it was ~ hopes were really hiqh, i read sumtinq tat i understand all to well . haish . nieq bkan thinkinq neqatif uqhs but what more can it mean rite when sumbody say tat they are hopinq nobody will come in between them and tat sumbody special and make it worse . speechless doh ! it explains everythinq now . haha .. :'(
alyph'alyph, kaw memanq hopeless snqt'snqt . hahs . nampak nyer kaw kene let qo yer ? aqain ..
i checked on my fwens recently . especially those who used to be so closed to me and have shared their storyy wit me . last tyme they sound so sincere bout lovinq their boif and qerlf . now it seems that most have found that strenqth to carry on whether it is bcos they didnt want to hurt their boif or whether they qot cheated . i understand them cos i used to be lyke that and to find that strenqth . but now i dont thik i'll able to do so . it just happens too fast that i feel that i'm still in shock . now i'm just qonna wait fer one day wher sumbody will wake me up and tell me that everythinq will be okay . and im just wishinq that it will be her . but i know this ish just a dream that i'll never wake up from . i'm tryinq so hard to think positive up to a point that i dont notice what had happen . i can literally feel my heart ache just thinkinq bout it . i dont think anybody ever feel th way i do . dont believe me ? put your ear close to my heart and you hear it compressinq so hard and it beats even harder . so what im sayinq is, continue doinq this and you miqht as well kill me . i once said "this love will qo far", you aqreed before . now ? hahs . im not blaminq you or what, dont think it tat way, im just sayinq only . so really i envy my fwens on havinq that strenqth ~Labels: start of a new year 2011
shattered`* 15:26
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